Anybody heard of the
Mr. Liquid Male of the Year 2005 contest?
No? Didn't get the flyer? Somehow it managed to find it's way onto the desk of one of my female colleagues, and she threw it into the bin. I'll read it to you:
ARE YOU MAN ENOUGH?
MR. LIQUID MALE OF THE YEAR 2005. The nigt when brains, brawns, and talent dictate his appeal. Come and watch the bravest men on this side of the planet compete for the ultimate manhood validation. ARE YOU UP FOR IT?
It's being held at the Liquid bar, it's sponsored by Jonathan Cheng, XeX, William Liew, Alvin Couture, New Urban Male, Kampai, Guinness, Juice, Faces, Axcest, KDS Entertainment, Hair Zone Studio and Face Image Make-Up Academy.
The first heat was held last Friday, and the grand final's on the 6th of May, where some lucky, buff bastard will win RM4000.
The flyer is the colour purple and features a muscular man in a thong diving.
Now, judging by this flyer, what do you suppose a
real man is?
1. Since it's sponsored by a bar and alcohol, I guess it's safe to say no Malay's will be entering.
A real man is a non-Malay man.2.It's also sponsored by 5 local clothing boutiques.
A real man dresses like an Ah Beng.3. One final note about the sponsors: they also include a hair stylist and make-up academy.
A real man over-stylizes his hair and puts on make-up.4. He is brave enough to compete for the ultimate manhood validation.
A real man is incredibly insecure.5. He has brains, brawns (it can be pluralized?) and talent.
A real man has delusions of grandeur.So let's recap, the true definition of a
real man is thus;
A real man is an incredibly insecure non-Malay male dressed like an Ah Beng wearing make-up with delusions of grandeur.Which kinda sounds like a contestant for American Idol.
Why we even
have a contest like this is anybody's guess. As part of a creative team in an advertising agency that handles a lot of below-the-line promotions, I have seen wave after wave of 'idol' copycats as more and more brands jump on the bandwagon to score a consumer or two. Taking your integrity and kicking it out a 22 storey window for a public audience seems to be the defining element of the 21st century.
Simon Cowell is the antichrist.
(
N.B. The homosexual undertones of the whole thing are also fairly obvious, but I'm not one to believe that homosexuals aren't real men. Distaste of punanny regardless, gay men are the most highly regarded physical embodiment of the male body. But it also doesn't follow that all real men are homosexuals. A white horse is a horse, but a horse isn't always white.)
